Hi! I think I don't always have control of my life.. Things happen without me having any real part in them and then I always find myself wondering somewhere. That's weird and sometimes horrible. It's scary when you have plans to do things some way but then you several days or months later realize that you have done everything not as you planned. Did that make any sense? But well, can't help it. I believe that there's a place I'm meant to end up being and there might be one easy way to get there but because sometimes I'm too simple-minded or just blind to things or stubborn so I have to go through many different paths to that one place. Those ways won't be wrong either but they just take a bit longer time and might be harder to walk through but.. Eventually I will find myself somewhere where I belong to. That's how I believe. Am I being too positive in thinking? Nah, it would be boring to think negatively. ;)
Oh! I might really be able to go to Japan next autumn. But not to university... As I thought it's too expensive for me, I can't afford it. At least not yet. But my friends told me about a way to be able to go there and do some voluntary work! It would be something I really wanted to do in the first place anyway. ^^ I'm so happy if I can go there to do something useful. And now when I wrote that I started thinking am I just being hypocritical... Maybe I just want to do something to make myself feel good instead of helping others without any other reasons? Hmm.. There's something to think about.
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