This is a fight

 

Haha, I've been so unbelievably lazy for over a week now! First I was sick for five days, though. So then it was ok to do nothing. But now it's just continuing! Why it's so difficult to get up from bed and go out, for example jogging or even buy more food? I have to get a grip of myself again. This laziness has to end.

Yesterday I decided to clean our apartment and so I vacuumed the floor and was just about to wipe the tables when... There was a flapping noise. I had had music playing and the balcony door open and of course this little bird had flown into our apartment. It was just flying around our living room/kitchen area. After a while it started pooping all around and it left thousands of little feathers to the ceiling. So much for my cleaning. I tried to get it fly out again but it just didn't seem to understand that there was a door open. Finally after a long fight it landed on my badminton racket which I had raised up to touch the ceiling. Then I slooooowly moved it lower and walked to our balcony. There it was quietly sitting and staring at me. Such a nice birdie... Which made a horrible mess. I had to vacuum the floor again, clean ALL the surfaces, wipe the ceiling and check if there was poop on any fabrics (couch and carpets were in great danger but I was lucky this time). But the poor thing was so frightened, I saw its heart beat super fast. Well now it's somewhere out there again. Such a funny bird incident. Much better than any of my encounters with seagulls... Those are horrible! So scary and greedy.

 

 

I would really like to make a castle like this of gingerbread. Or even something like it.. Maybe a bit more simple. But I love the round shape and how the houses are built one over another. My friend sent me this pic probably a few years ago... Well maybe this year I make a gingerbread castle like this. We'll see. First I should know where in this world I'm gonna be then. I have absolutely no clue!! But it's very much possible I won't be in Finland.

 

Benjamin - Shame on me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIuUQOBFPBw

 

Benjamin - Young and restless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgejtcRYxjs

 

30 Seconds to Mars - Conquistador

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNJdm4mG8AU

 



Lights of June

Hey! It's the first of June already!! And it's Wednesday, I never know what to think of it. It's in the middle of the week so when it comes I can think 'yay it's almost weekend' but at the same time it's only been two days since last weekend. So I don't know do I like Wednesday or not... Can't really decide.

Something amazing happened at work yesterday AND today. I got a small praise of my work, twice! I can't believe it. I can't remember what I replied to it cause I was so stunned, maybe I didn't say anything, it's very much possible. But I was told I did good work!! Wow. I never thought hearing such a thing. First person to say it was my boss and then today also another of my coworkers who's usually very strict with everything said the same to me. I'm still in shock. So unbelievable. She was also very nice to me today... Did something happen?

A few days ago I used my time well doing a few funny quizzes, one was about how well I recognized some patterns from each others (or something like that), one was about how well I remembered things learned in primary school (it was a bit difficult cause there were things from American schools, like where J. F. Kennedy was killed.. How could I know that??) and then one was a quiz named 'why are you single?'. Well I'll show you my scores in the previous order, see and be amazed, lol:

 

Those must be right, I believe them with no doubt, haha. -(^.^)/

 

I started reading Toshokan Senshou (Library wars) again because I found the first five books from our local library! I had no idea they had those here, I've previously just read it from internet. But it's really great series. I laughed out loud again on our balcony which made my roommate laugh at me. That happens a lot... -(ö.ö)- Which brings to my mind, we got a new roommate today! Quite cool, she seems very nice. We'll see what summer brings with it. Hopefully something else too than just all this pollen which is making me so sick. Head hurts, eyes hurt, nose hurts, throat hurts... I'm so glad I finally bought some medicine today. O I wonder if I could go swimming this weekend! It would be awesome. Then I would probably be sick the next week though... We'll see, maybe I get crazy and go to our local tiny tiny beach "near" (13km away) my parents' home.

 





Fall Out Boy - Phoenix (tell me about good music!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKOlBZJ7Izs

 

Street Drum Corps - Knock Me Out

(seen this one live some years ago! Haha memories... Of nearly getting killed. Or at least getting hurt pretty bad. Oops. But just nearly, it was a close call)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQmEq-saTsc

 

Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ0lE7e3yfk

 

 

Isn't it strange, this...

I still haven't finished my application to universities in England... And it should be ready asap. It's only missing my personal statement but that's the most difficult part! I've tried to write it several times already and always end up doing something else... I'm nicely avoiding all the stuff I really should do (just like now, I'm baking bread and writing this, oops). But it's so hard to make that statement a good one, and it has to be good. It can't be just average, it needs to be good enough to get me a place in some university. Then I should also read this one column/short novel/research -what ever it is- as a pre material for an entrance exam to one of the universities in Helsinki... I have about two weeks left to learn/remember it. And I should also make a dress for myself to my sister's wedding, though it's not until the end of august so I don't have to hurry with it (yet... just wait for it, it'll come). And of course I have to work five days a week and almost forgot, I'm also gonna apply to one uni in Japan. My list is longer than I thought! Work's piling up and I would also like to exercise and do other stuff too. Well, have to start being productive. I can sleep after a few weeks... But the coffee at work tastes bad. Maybe I have to start bringing my own starting from tomorrow! -(T.T)/ It's a miraculous drink.

 

I feel like I should do so much to achieve something in this life. It's like nothing happens just on its own but I have to see great effort to make everything happen. Then I start to wonder should I really try this hard or should I just sit and see what happens. And now I'm not only talking about the things I mentioned before, I mean generally everything in my life. The things I've achieved so far haven't always been so easy to make happen. Sometimes I think (or I want to think) that someday we are given what we want, but it's getting harder and harder to believe it, at least sometimes it's really difficult. And on top of everything, I hate waiting... Though I'm quite good at it if losing my mind doesn't count as giving up. But really, waiting is so frustrating especially when you can't even know if something's gonna happen or not. Or maybe it's not even the waiting that's hardest, it's the uncertainty.

 

I thought I could list you some Disney (and also DreamWorks) animations I like! Some change to the never ending list of anime and manga. Haha, well here you go: Brave, Mulan, Pocahontas, Big Hero 6, The Road to El Dorado, How to Train Your Dragon 1 & 2, Kung Fu Panda, Tangled, The Emperor's New Groove, Lilo & Stitch, Treasure Planet and Cinderella (I put it last on purpose cause it kinda doesn't fit in to my list for some reason... Actually not for some reason, the reason is cause it's the only "real" princess movie on my list and doesn't really have a strong leading character, so it stands out a bit). But that's mostly how my non-Ghibli-animation-favorites-list looks like. It's a good one isn't it? ;) Lol.

 

Brave, such a great movie. I love how stubborn all of its characters are.



 

Freddie - Pioneer (listen to that beautiful rough voice.... mmmmmh -(^.^)- Haha)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMNcDQENT6o

 

Don't move so carefully

Hi and greetings from the sunny south-Finland! Yesterday I went out with my friend on a purpose to walk around for a short time before the Finland's ice hockey match. Well I showed her the forest where I ran the last time I went out and eventually we ended up running/walking for three hours... That was our "just getting some fresh air". But it was so fun!! We also found one quite high hill which is so perfect for uphill running! And the forest tracks are sooo nice.... I'm in love with that place. It's so weird and kinda funny how people always say that east-Helsinki is not so good place to live, this is supposed to be a bit more dangerous and suspicious place but I enjoy living here! Well, the shopping area might not always be so nice but otherwise this is so nice place.

 

 

This is the place where I love to go running! Isn't it nice!? Forest and rocks everywhere and just some very narrow tracks on the ground.

 

 

There was also this weird cave-kind-of-thing.... it starts from here and forms a half circle, the other end can be seen in the right corner of a pic. There was water in it so we couldn't go check it out... We didn't have rubber boots. But it was so cool! -(^.^)/

 

 

This is where I went with the same friend a few weekends ago. This place was called "Lammassaari" (literally translated sheep island) lol. It was also so gorgeous. We walked around for hours and had a picnic sitting on the rocks looking at the sea. It was a perfect day.

 

 

It's really been warm here lately, now a bit colder, I need to wear a jacket.

 

Here's one manga I've been reading lately, Yotsubato! It's hilarious and so good for emptying my head. The story is about a little girl named Yotsuba, I think she is five-years-old, and the people in her life. Sounds pretty basic but it's perfect sitcom! The author Azuma Kiyohiko has done some pretty amazing work here.
 

 

(Yotsubato! -pics from google)

Just like my whole day gathered into one picture... It took me half an hour to get up, a few running steps to catch the later subway and getting off at the earlier station to be early (sorry that's not exactly correct, it's more likely just in time, not early or late) at work. Several yawns during the day, starving twice before getting home and finally just zoning out. (ë.ë)

 

And last but not least, one Finnish song by Anna Puu. The lyrics are so good that I had to translate them here. So the next is really just my own translation, nothing official or anything.

 

Anna Puu - Ota minut tällaisena kuin oon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9XI1-ltitQ

Anna Puu - Take me as I am

 

Please don't fix anything in me

Don't try to save me

Don't polish anything out of me

No-one else managed to do it either

I don't need to be carried

Or held by hand

I can walk by myself

except when I'm tired

 

You chose me, me, me

Yeah and me you got

Take me as I am

Just as I am

x2

 

Don't think I need anyone to build me up

Many pieces I've used to collect myself together again

And I don't need to be changed

Or made any better

You should also know it already

I'll never be perfect

 

You chose me, me, me

Yeah and me you got

Take me as I am

Just as I am

x2

 

You chose me, me, me

Yeah and me you got

You chose me, me, me

Yeah and me you got

Take me as I am

Just as I am

 

You chose me, me, me

Yeah and me you got

Take me as I am

Just as I am

Yeah so take me, me, me

Just as I am

"Tens of times I've heard stories told of happiness, love stories, but now I don't have one and can't do poetry. I only have three words, three beautiful words. I love you." Some lyrics from another song, Kolme sanaa by GFM. More Finnish music, haha. -(h.h)- Have a great, adventurous day full of new experiences!! ^.^



Worthy

Go check out a new song Dig a little deeper by Ulrik Munther. It can be found at least from Spotify, unfortunately I couldn't find it from Youtube so here's no link to it. Listen to the lyrics, listen to the melody, listen to the song don't just play it.

We've had a gorgeous weather here for over a week already and I'm loving it. I was able to go out wearing only shorts and t-shirt!!! It's so warm. That's why working ain't so nice right now... I just wanna go out and feel the sun.

 

Having a luxurious dinner on our balcony! Such delicious food... -^.^-

 

Home Alone part 2

I'm spending my weekend alone again! My rare occasions of piece and me-time. So today I made ice cream and tomorrow I can go out and sit on our balcony enjoying the sun and eat my ice cream with pancakes, berries and a beer.

I'm gonna tell you how people can make you feel so small and unworthy. And how it's so easy to believe what they say about you and how easy it is to love yourself again. Yesterday I realized how stupid mistake I had just done. But there was no going back anymore so I just shut my ears, eyes and heart from it. I was again told very verbally how stupid, unworthy, ugly, socially untalented and in every way horrible person I am. For a moment I think I actually believed that. But it's not true. None of it's true and I know it. Because how could I have so many great friends who want to spend time with me if I was a horrible person? There are always people who will tell you the things you don't want to hear, the things that will hurt you if you let them. But you can choose not to hear them. You can choose to believe differently. Cause why would you think you are unworthy? Or ugly? You are not. Everyone of us is important, beautiful and smart. You don't need to have a degree to be smart, you don't need to be a model to be beautiful and you don't need to pretend to be something else than what you really are to be important. Cause the right people will accept you as you are. They will love you for who you are. They don't want to change you and they will never want to hurt you. So when someone tells you how stupid you are, decide not to hear it, it's not true anyway. Why would you want to hear lies?

Dnace = Dance

I just ate about 300g of nuts and dried fruits... o.o'''' and now I feel so sick, those were way too sweet. Just so you know. Haha \(e.e)/

Last weekend passed so quickly I hardly noticed it even was there. Now it's Monday again. I went to my parents' place and made a few clothes and tried to learn this one dance with my sister. It was fun -(^.^)- I'm not a good dancer, I've never been but maybe someday I will be, maybe. In junior high school we had these dancing lessons (dances like waltz, foxtrot...) and I skipped all of those classes... I also hated our aerobic lessons (our teacher seemed to love aerobics and soccer cause those were the sports we usually had), I wanted to play basketball, baseball or do athletics or martial arts but yea not happening. In high school we had this very formal dance event for second year students and I went to the first lesson and that was enough for me. I quit it right there and then. When the event took place all the girls were wearing these very beautiful long dresses and of course they had done their hair and put on gorgeous (more or less..) make-ups. Everyone else (who weren't second year students or non-dancers which consisted maybe five students + me) were sitting on the sides of our gym hall watching the dance and at the end there were a few songs when those who danced came to ask others to dance with them. And cause I'm super-lucky person someone asked me and I as politely as I could ('sorry no way, I don't dance') declined the generous offer. I was perfectly happy sitting there. But my amazing dancing history doesn't end quite there!! When my grandma had her (maybe 75 year birthday) she had a huge party, there were about 200 guests. And of course there was a band and dancing. And just before we were leaving my grandpa wanted to dance with all of his granddaughters (there are only 5 of us). Everyone else danced before me and I was trying to escape as smoothly as possible so that no-one would notice. No luck with that. Well all I was able to do anymore was to wish they were gonna play a waltz cause that's the only dance I know. Nooooooope. It was a foxtrot. I have no idea how many times I stepped on my grandpa's feet, but what I do know is how amusing and horrible it must have looked like. Yay!! -(ö.-)/ Dancing 3-0 me. It's a never ending battle and I keep losing.

 

This is the dance I was dancing with my sister.. Or she was dancing and I was learning. It was so fun! ;)

 



But now I'll go out do some uphill running! Hopefully that hill ain't all slippery and muddy... Haha that would be some extreme uphill running! -(i.i)-

DNCE - Cake by the ocean (really like this song! rhythm lyrics all ;P)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWaRiD5ym74

 

Build up your courage, take a step and you'll see

Why? When? Who? How? Where? What? Why... The list of things I could put after those words feels endless.

Just yesterday I went out for a long walk with my friend, we both felt like getting some fresh air. We talked about, well everything like how I feel I've just been whining these past few weeks, and there were these short sentences that came up all the time... Like 'life sucks' and 'I'm gonna lose my mind very soon'. But there were a few times when everything seemed a lot better so I guess "getting some fresh air" really was a good idea. First we came to this (quite small) hill which I had no clue existed. And as I think I've written here some time ago I sprained my leg something like 5 to 6 weeks ago and still haven't been able to run but yesterday when we were at the top of that hill I just had to try running it down up and down again. And I did it and my leg didn't hurt. That felt like the best thing ever. When running up the hill I solely focused on breathing, footing, using my leg and looking at the goal. Nothing else was in my mind. Nothing. The feeling how I can forget about everything when I'm running is so amazing, so wonderful. I love running. From there we continued to walk forward and came to this bridge which went over a bit bigger road. We stopped there to watch the cars and whatever there was. It was around sunset and we could see the light hit the top floors of the buildings and faintly come through the trees. The sky was so warm gold yellow with light pink and blue clouds and the air felt brisk on my face. And I felt so sad. But suddenly out of nowhere my friend started singing this stupid song and do a dance to it. Oh my gosh it was so hilarious. So stupid. It completely made me forget why I was so sad again. Haha, weird crazy friends are the best. They have a way to make the world a better place. Then we bought chocolate pudding and ate it. I love pudding. It's one of the best sweets ever.

 

Sometimes all it takes is a hug from the right person and it makes you cry your heart out or smile, feel warm inside, calm down or just be quiet.

 

If you had to choose one of those questions at the beginning of this post, which one would be the one you would like to use the most right now at this very moment? Maybe 'Why'? Or perhaps 'Where'? How would you continue your own question? There are so many things I and maybe everyone would like to know but so few answers. Maybe none. At least not now, not tomorrow or maybe not after a week either. But perhaps when a year or two has passed there is an answer. That's what I hope. Cause I want to know the answers for my million questions and wonders. Or maybe not to all of them but at least to the 90%... The other 10% is maybe not so important, or is important now but not necessarily anymore after a year. Then I have new questions to fill that 10%.

 

What do you hate? Or what do you find very disgusting? I hate banana flies, ants, olives, sleet or slush or whatever it's called, peanut butter and the list goes on... But really, banana flies are so annoying! Those always come to fly in front of your face, they're hard to kill and when they're really close to your ear you just hear the frustrating buzzing. Especially when you are trying to sleep, then they just come to wake you up and disappear when you put the light on to get rid of them. Then you switch the light off again and go back to bed.... And there they are again! Why are there such creatures as banana flies!? They are too small to be food for any other bug or little mammal anyway. They're useless! And annoying. -(T.T)-

It's Friday! Again!? How... And almost 11pm already! Wow... I feel like I just ran to the train 8am (I don't know what means to leave home early so I end up running every morning...). Well anyways, good night/morning or something between! -(^.^)/

 

Coldplay - Hymn For The Weekend (I've probably already linked this song but I've been listening to this a lot lately so it kind of belongs to this post)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YykjpeuMNEk

 

 Nick Jonas - Close ft. Tove Lo (And then something I've heard so many times at work that it came to my dreams last night...)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF05EX_fnrw