Keep talking

Hi! I know I just yesterday wrote a post but I have to write again, I just have to!! Cause I have so much time to think at work... Too much. And I have to get even some of these thoughts out and I can't just keep talking to my roommates all the time, they would go crazy eventually, that I don't want. Maybe... Though it would be fun to see. But really, I feel like I could talk a few days in a row, non-stop (which actually is possible for me... No, I'm not 100% crazy, just 95%). This is horrible, I feel so sorry for those living with me right now. I've also started to hum at work, cause of course there's always music playing and six hours of that in a day, there's no other way than to hum (silently).

 

What would we do without friends? They are like a second family. -(n.n)-

 

First I'm gonna tell you what kind of metaphor I made up to describe life (I have no idea what I'm thinking at work...). I think that life is like a sand ball. First there's rain which makes the sand wet and you're able to shape it into a perfect round ball and it's so strong without any cracks. Then the rain goes away but the clouds remain for a while and the sand ball stays in its shape. There's nothing to break it. But finally the clouds go away and sun comes out. It shines so bright and makes the sand ball dry. When dry slowly it starts to crumble and eventually turn into a pile of sand. Like it was in the beginning. There it is on the ground again in bits and pieces and you just look at it how long it took to first make it into a ball and then to get hold it together. But suddenly clouds gather together again and rain down. And so the same circle happens again. Now you can shape the sand into a ball again and it will hold together as long as the clouds keep the sun away. But some day the sun will shine again, it always will. There are those cloudy days when everything is well and you can enjoy your life, there are those sunny days when everything goes wrong and you just want to disappear and cry your heart out, and then there are those rainy days when all your cracks can be healed and you start living again. That's the circle of life to me. But I wonder why those sunny days sometimes last so long and cloudy days never seem to come. It makes me wonder what's the meaning of all of this. But I'm happy to know that things have a tendency to work out eventually.

 

One Republic - Something I need

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_xvWdY6Gr4

 

I've also started to read news twice every day, when going to work and coming from there. I don't seem to be able to be without doing anything. But reading news is a good thing! First I read Finnish news and then some headlines from New York Times. There are all kinds of interesting things to read about but I have to admit I'm so clueless about everything going on in U.S. This is almost embarrassing.

 

Then I've been thinking of all the different universities I could apply to. And that's really messing my head right now (besides everything else). Ones I'm really considering are in Australia, England, Canada and States. So there are quite many places... But I think it would be a lot easier to live in a country where people speak English natively. I would understand everything quite well and then I could fully concentrate on studying. But what still keeps me from going somewhere is the thought and maybe also some kind of fear that what if I'm not good enough in English and all that studying goes to waste. That would just suck so bad. But at the same time I'm like 'I'll never give up on trying'. You know there are a few quotes I really like 1. "Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway." -Robert Downey Jr. 2. "Forget all the reasons why it won't work and believe the one reason why it will!" 3. " Strength, a river cuts through a rock not because of its power but its persistence." and 4. "When you are going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill. And that's how I want to think. There's really no reason why I should give up cause I can do whatever I want if I just try enough. If I have enough strength to just go on and stay strong.

 

 

I love music, I couldn't live without it. And as I told somewhere above it's been my constant friend lately. I listen to music at work, when I go there, when I'm reading in café, when I come home and at home. So basically the whole day. I don't know if it's a bit too much but it's the only way my mind keeps from falling apart. But it also has this a bit troubling side to it, cause it affects my moods. When I hear sad music I become sad too and of course the other way around too. But music keeps me from hearing all the background noises so it's really nice. And it's also so beautiful and incredible. It's amazing how people are so talented.

 

 London Grammar - Hey Now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMEHJPuggHQ

 

Frances - Let it out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7_HgdyOOTk

 

There would still be so many things I could just write here but I'll leave the joy of hearing them for my friends. Haha. -(^.^')-

 

So have a great day and don't waste your happy days, happiness is something we can't take for granted. It's a blessing, one of the greatest! And now is Fridaaaaayyyy! Wohoo! It's also a blessing... I need my sleep.

 

Cyrus - Keep talking

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbOr-I1APcI













What happened today?

How nice has today been. Weather's been great and it's been just a basic day in my life. Some might not know but I got kind-of-a-job in a women's fashion store and just started working there this week and well there's a lot to learn. So what actually happened today?

I woke up dead-tired, seriously I hardly got my eyes open, it was so hard. Then I changed my clothes and went to make a quick micro-porridge for breakfast (no time to do anything cause getting up takes too long...). I left my porridge into the micro for about two minutes and when I checked how it's doing it had literally exploded. That doesn't always happen but I guess now something went wrong. Only half of the porridge was left in my cup and the rest of it... Use your imagination. Well, let's call it a start of a new diet. I also didn't have a lunch to take to work (cause last night went nicely losing my mind, my roommate can prove it to be too true) so I just took a banana from the fridge. I got to work early (thankgod... yesterday I was so close being late) and started doing the same things as the days before. Until my boss asked me to take this one box to the storage room two floors down. She taught me how to use the elevator and it was easy. Everything had gone well so far and I was almost proud of myself (for being able to use that elevator!). But I still had to go back up to the store. I went to the elevator, used the little key-thing and pressed the right level-button. But the elevator didn't move. I tried again, and again. Nothing. Then I noticed the door hadn't closed properly but I also couldn't pull it cause there was no handle. I stepped out and tried if the door would close then. It didn't. So I pushed it a bit and 'clack'. It closed. And got locked. And I was still in the basement. I stared at the door eyes wide open like some big white plates (with a little bit of food on them) and thought 'crap'. I tried opening it, not working. I looked around if there was something I could use... It was a small white room, no windows, a few doors. And I was so stuck in there. Alone. With my boss' keys. Panicking.... Almost. I couldn't let myself panic cause I was alone and there was no-one to help me. I had to do something myself so panicking was not an option. Suddenly I heard voices  somewhere and thought that there has to be a staircase and behind one of the doors there actually was. But then this thought came to my mind what if I go there and the door behind me won't open anymore. And I had no idea where those stairs led. So I went back to the lovely small white room. I walked around for a while trying not to panic and stopped to stare the elevator door again. Then a miracle happened in a form of a new 'clack'. I tried the door and it opened!! Oh my God I was so happy I could've cried. I had been in that basement maybe for 15-20 minutes... When I was about to leave I noticed a camera on the roof. All I could think was how someone just got a great laugh so early in the morning. I must've looked too hilarious and pathetic. I definitely would've laughed at me. Luckily rest of my working time went quite smoothly, except when a blood vein snapped broken in my finger. Now it's almost unusable and huuuurts. No can do.

 

How I was yesterday.... I was literally hitting my head to the table. Maybe that's why I had a slight headache today... That explains everything.

 

Now I'm in a café writing this post and reading a book of criminology. And there's still quite many hours left today so I might still break my leg, get hit by a car, get bird-poop on my head or maybe even burn down our apartment. Everything is possible. Sorry my lovely roomies, things ain't looking so great in the future.

Oh btw, I've become so addicted to coffee!! This is so bad.... I drink about two cups of black coffee every day. Well it's not much yet but I can feel how always at a certain time of a day I just feel like I need my coffee and I will have it! There's this one café (the one where I'm right now...) I just like so much. And I can get two cups of coffee just with 2,50€! That's actually quite cheap. Loving it! And the delicious black hot liquid too.... Haha. This is really not good. I'm in trouble.

 

This I'm writing a few hours later than the previous text... I'm updating information from today! When I was coming home from that café I was starving so bad that I could hear my stomach growl in a subway... I did my best to ignore it. And when I finally made food I used too much oyster sauce and all I could taste was that... And it was so salty! But I still ate it, cause I used two eggs into it! That's almost half the ingredients of two lunches! -(^.^')- Haha. Btw why is that clock moving so fast? It's already so late! But yeah, this is how my normal day seems to be like. -(n.n')-

 

Seafret - Oceans acoustic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpgXgAT0h5g

 

Seafret - There's light

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLN8ivRYq2Y

 

AronChupa ft. Little Sis Nora - Little swing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FBL44FJMvQ



What?

This is what it really is like when being alone at home... I have our house all to myself this weekend and could do anything but what I really end up doing...

Hi to everyone.

For today: I just can't help wondering why some people (especially women) like to dress up so that they basically let everything show. It's almost the same as they would wear nothing. Like those shirts that are very see-through and then there's only a bright pink bra under it. Well I'm glad there is at least that bra but c'mon... It looks so tacky! And also those shorts and skirts that hardly cover the butt cause they're so short. I saw those all the time in Australia and once when I was at mall standing in an escalator there were two girls in front of me wearing the kind of shorts I mentioned and I just couldn't help but thinking 'that looks so gross'. I guess some people find them attractive but for me they're the opposite of trendy and decent looking clothes. I don't know or understand what those people are trying to achieve by wearing that kind of clothes or why they ever want to use them but well, it ain't any of my business. It just looks so horrible when I see people walking around wearing barely anything. I could never do that and I definitely never will. It hurts my sense of being even somehow fashionable. (^.^') I also think that being half naked doesn't really belong to going to the mall or school or what ever. Yeah.. Well that's about it! Haha -(n.n')-

I wish I had marshmallows... 

Daya - Hide away

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmK0WHkFIo8

Zara Larrson - Lush life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X9weuJMj38

Shawn Mendes - Stitches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbfpW0pbvaU

Christianity... A box?

Hey! As always, or actually not always but sometimes, I've been superb busy lately. Since last Wednesday I haven't had a single moment just for myself... Well once I did go out for drinks with my friend but that was it. I've been on the go all the time and running out of time has been written on my calendar for days. I wouldn't have time to write this post either for real... But need to have a little break now.

I've been making a lot of clothes lately and hope I could make a few more today and tomorrow... But we'll see, I have some other things I need to do first. For Thursday and Friday I have already plans cause my friend asked me to be her face and body paint model. So I'll be there freezing to death first seven and then eight hours! Sounds great doesn't it. -(p.p)- Just kidding, I'm really happy I can help her. Plus I've never done anything like that so it's gonna be so interesting. And there's also gonna be a professional photographer to take pictures!! Wooow... -(o.o)- So cool. Just hoping I don't get sick if it's really gonna be cold there, I've been sick twice in one month now. And that sucks.

But now I thought I could write a bit about one of those topics I mentioned in my last post. And it's gonna be ''What's a good Christian like? Am I like that?'. I talked about it with two of my friends cause there are so many things related to it that really almost made me crazy. And so that everyone knows these are just my own thoughts about Christianity and stuff. Nothing written anywhere or so.

To start with I think there's this one stereotype of a good Christian. I'm gonna take an example person named Klaus. This is what he should be like: he should be kind, always think others before himself, devote his life to God, pray everyday, go to church every Sunday, not drink alcohol so much that he would get drunk and also not give in to other earthly temptations like money and partying (I mean go clubbing etc.). This list could go on for ever but those came to my mind first. But Klaus is also just a human and for a human being/doing all that is so difficult. So if Klaus wants to go out for drinks with his friends on a Friday night does it make him a bad Christian? Or can one even really define what is a good Christian like?

Well as I said I think there's that stereotype, that's how I've been raised to think and that's why this topic is so hard for me. For me there's always been a definition of a bad and good Christian but nowadays I've started to think that it's not so black and white. And if it was I could never be a good Christian and maybe I wouldn't even want to be. Living by so strict rules is definitely not for me and I could never do that, cause for me it would be like living in a small box where someone's always looking at what I do and judging me based on that. Maybe it wouldn't really be like that but most of my life has felt like it. My parents are a bit old-fashioned when it comes to Christianity and they have quite strong opinions of what's right and what's wrong. So if I wanted to be "good" I had to fit in that box but it's impossible. And it's not like I wouldn't respect and love my parents, of course I do, but I have my own life and my own crazy mind and I can't and don't want to live by rules someone else has set for me. Maybe I'm just too stubborn... Haha. But really, it's like if others think that dancing on a street is just plain weird and stupid heck yea I'm gonna do just that. And why wouldn't I? Just cause other ppl think so? Just cause it's a bit out of normal behavior? Well, it's way more fun to live outside of that box. And we live here only once so let's take everything out of it. So if I tried to be the same as Klaus should I really feel like I would lose myself, the real me who wants to live freely with an open mind for this crazy world.

 

So to go back to the beginning and Klaus, can he live by those standards? And does he even need to for the sake of being a good Christian? For both questions, the answer is no. I don't think anyone can really live so that he/she would never do anything that wouldn't be defined bad. And if Klaus wants to go have drinks with his friends then he should do that and not start to think about it more. Because it doesn't make him a bad Christian or any worse than any other Christian is. I think that as long as you keep your common sense with almost everything you do and you know what your relationship with God is and you keep it open and honest it's fine to live the way you want. Cause we should have the kind of life we want and we should be free to live. And that's exactly what I do, I want to live.

Lee DeWyze - Beautiful like you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-aXbjZJEI8

Kygo & Labyrinth - Fragile
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-C4JZG1c2Q

With these words, Have a GREAT day!! -(ü.ü)/



I remember you

I've been thinking how long will one remember those people who have left one for good. Well of course it depends on many things like how long you've known that person and how important he/she was to you. But I've heard that once you've met someone you really never forget them. I think that might be true. At least I don't think I've forgotten anyone whom I've got to know in my life. Of course it's so that sometimes mind chooses not to remember certain things and during time the things that are not so important vanish from the depths of mind. But It's still so interesting how for example I can remember quite many things from the time I was a kid, maybe even 3-4 years old. Though I'm not entirely sure do I actually remember those or have I just made up those memories cause I know that's also very much possible.

But remembering people... I think it's a lot easier to remember people when you have pics of them, you can just always be like 'o yea I remember her'. But I don't know is it always so nice to remember everyone. Especially if that person who's left you did something bad to you. The one thing that bothers me the most is that how long you remember those people who've been important to you and then left you, left you in any possible way. And also how long it takes for you to be able to remember those people with only good feelings in your heart. Or is it possible at all? Cause I think that losing important people is always painful and it would be nice to know how long it takes to really get over them being away.

But one thing I've learned is that if something has happened and you feel like crap it's good to let it all out and talk to someone. A good example from my life is when I was in Australia and lost my grandpa and couldn't get to his funeral and couldn't even really talk to anyone about it (face-to-face, through phone yes of course) because I'm not the kind of person who would bother other people (especially those I've just got to know to) with my problems. So as a result I did the exact opposite thing I think is good, I didn't talk to anyone about it even though it was probably the biggest thing in my life that has happened so far. Was it good? Prob not but what is done is done and can't be changed. And I don't like regretting things. So again I'm gonna remember one more thing and one more person has become a memory but this memory won't be bad and painful, cause I really want it to be a happy one.

Before I started writing this post I was thinking what could I write about today... I had no idea. And then I started listening to music and after a few songs I came up with three completely different topics. And I would actually like to write about all of them but dunno... This post would turn out pretty messy and really long. -(^.^')- Hmm... what should I do... Well the other two topics I came up with are 'The way people dress up nowadays' and 'What is a good Christian like, am I like that?' The last one is something I actually know an answer to (from my own part) but I still can't stop thinking about it. Maybe I write about those in my next posts.

 

Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzvJvOl9Tx0

 

Crappy things

Hey! At the moment I have pretty many crappy things in my life.. That ain't so nice! Last Monday I went running late at night and as a result I probably sprained my leg... And now all I can do with it is just hardly walk. And again I can't exercise well and that reeeally pisses me off! Because almost all I can think is how much I wanna go out and run or do some other training. Well I'm gonna practice with my sister anyway and try not to make my leg hurt even more. And maybe tomorrow I go to gym... I might be a bit addicted to exercising. ^.^' But that's not all! Also my computer broke AGAIN. It's probably just way too old... And now I lose everything I have on it... Which luckily is just all the files from the last four months. But still... I wish I had a computer that wouldn't break every second month. And then there is a bunch of other things besides these two so I might just lose my mind soon. -(^.^')- No worries... I just go and make a new dress and listen to the music for the whole day so I can occupy myself somehow. Haha. But ofc I have great things coming up too! On Saturday I'm gonna celebrate my b-day with my family and hopefully on next Tuesday with my friends. So good times are coming! And there's also Easter and four-day-long-holiday!!! What would I do then....

 

Yeah...

Coldplay - Everglow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH9g5hYKHBU

 

This one big mess

Hey :)

I think most people like and want to know what's going on in their lives and they try their best to make it go as they've planned. And I do that too. But really, I'm starting to get so sick and tired of it. I can't avoid all the hard parts in life and I'm incapable of making my life go the way I want. I can't avoid the mess, simply because life is the messy part. It's the whole life, just one big mess. And I will accept it from now on. Why bother thinking about it too much and stress about it, it just uses my energy way too much. Plus if I stress I eventually get wrinkles to my face. -(ö.ö)/ Haha. But this is how it usually goes: I see my life in my mind, the one I've imagined, and know my plans. I start heading the straight way to reach my goal and eventually after million sideways I finally get there. I reach my goal but it's no longer the same it was in the beginning. Going through all the "wrong" paths altered the goal to be something different. So was it worth planning beforehand? Who knows. But it's the reality, it's like this life's slipping trough my fingers and I can't just get a hold of it, but it's fine. Sometimes I catch a tiny part of it for a moment and then it runs away again. And that happens all the time. And it is fine. Because I don't have to be able get it stay in my hands. Cause in any case I keep on moving and living this mess and it's fun and also painful. Would it even be so fun and interesting if you always knew what was gonna come after the next turn? No, I don't think so. Now it's fun. This way. Cause life is the messy part.

Btw, I'm gonna cut my hair again tomorrow. ;) Not much though this time...

 

Wiz Khalifa - See You Again ft. Charlie Puth (soundtrack of Fast and furious 7!! looove the FF movies, r.i.p Paul Walker)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKAFK5djSk

 

Charlie Puth - Losing my mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhqCnoEYNIs