I remember you

I've been thinking how long will one remember those people who have left one for good. Well of course it depends on many things like how long you've known that person and how important he/she was to you. But I've heard that once you've met someone you really never forget them. I think that might be true. At least I don't think I've forgotten anyone whom I've got to know in my life. Of course it's so that sometimes mind chooses not to remember certain things and during time the things that are not so important vanish from the depths of mind. But It's still so interesting how for example I can remember quite many things from the time I was a kid, maybe even 3-4 years old. Though I'm not entirely sure do I actually remember those or have I just made up those memories cause I know that's also very much possible.

But remembering people... I think it's a lot easier to remember people when you have pics of them, you can just always be like 'o yea I remember her'. But I don't know is it always so nice to remember everyone. Especially if that person who's left you did something bad to you. The one thing that bothers me the most is that how long you remember those people who've been important to you and then left you, left you in any possible way. And also how long it takes for you to be able to remember those people with only good feelings in your heart. Or is it possible at all? Cause I think that losing important people is always painful and it would be nice to know how long it takes to really get over them being away.

But one thing I've learned is that if something has happened and you feel like crap it's good to let it all out and talk to someone. A good example from my life is when I was in Australia and lost my grandpa and couldn't get to his funeral and couldn't even really talk to anyone about it (face-to-face, through phone yes of course) because I'm not the kind of person who would bother other people (especially those I've just got to know to) with my problems. So as a result I did the exact opposite thing I think is good, I didn't talk to anyone about it even though it was probably the biggest thing in my life that has happened so far. Was it good? Prob not but what is done is done and can't be changed. And I don't like regretting things. So again I'm gonna remember one more thing and one more person has become a memory but this memory won't be bad and painful, cause I really want it to be a happy one.

Before I started writing this post I was thinking what could I write about today... I had no idea. And then I started listening to music and after a few songs I came up with three completely different topics. And I would actually like to write about all of them but dunno... This post would turn out pretty messy and really long. -(^.^')- Hmm... what should I do... Well the other two topics I came up with are 'The way people dress up nowadays' and 'What is a good Christian like, am I like that?' The last one is something I actually know an answer to (from my own part) but I still can't stop thinking about it. Maybe I write about those in my next posts.

 

Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzvJvOl9Tx0

 

Crappy things

Hey! At the moment I have pretty many crappy things in my life.. That ain't so nice! Last Monday I went running late at night and as a result I probably sprained my leg... And now all I can do with it is just hardly walk. And again I can't exercise well and that reeeally pisses me off! Because almost all I can think is how much I wanna go out and run or do some other training. Well I'm gonna practice with my sister anyway and try not to make my leg hurt even more. And maybe tomorrow I go to gym... I might be a bit addicted to exercising. ^.^' But that's not all! Also my computer broke AGAIN. It's probably just way too old... And now I lose everything I have on it... Which luckily is just all the files from the last four months. But still... I wish I had a computer that wouldn't break every second month. And then there is a bunch of other things besides these two so I might just lose my mind soon. -(^.^')- No worries... I just go and make a new dress and listen to the music for the whole day so I can occupy myself somehow. Haha. But ofc I have great things coming up too! On Saturday I'm gonna celebrate my b-day with my family and hopefully on next Tuesday with my friends. So good times are coming! And there's also Easter and four-day-long-holiday!!! What would I do then....

 

Yeah...

Coldplay - Everglow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH9g5hYKHBU

 

This one big mess

Hey :)

I think most people like and want to know what's going on in their lives and they try their best to make it go as they've planned. And I do that too. But really, I'm starting to get so sick and tired of it. I can't avoid all the hard parts in life and I'm incapable of making my life go the way I want. I can't avoid the mess, simply because life is the messy part. It's the whole life, just one big mess. And I will accept it from now on. Why bother thinking about it too much and stress about it, it just uses my energy way too much. Plus if I stress I eventually get wrinkles to my face. -(ö.ö)/ Haha. But this is how it usually goes: I see my life in my mind, the one I've imagined, and know my plans. I start heading the straight way to reach my goal and eventually after million sideways I finally get there. I reach my goal but it's no longer the same it was in the beginning. Going through all the "wrong" paths altered the goal to be something different. So was it worth planning beforehand? Who knows. But it's the reality, it's like this life's slipping trough my fingers and I can't just get a hold of it, but it's fine. Sometimes I catch a tiny part of it for a moment and then it runs away again. And that happens all the time. And it is fine. Because I don't have to be able get it stay in my hands. Cause in any case I keep on moving and living this mess and it's fun and also painful. Would it even be so fun and interesting if you always knew what was gonna come after the next turn? No, I don't think so. Now it's fun. This way. Cause life is the messy part.

Btw, I'm gonna cut my hair again tomorrow. ;) Not much though this time...

 

Wiz Khalifa - See You Again ft. Charlie Puth (soundtrack of Fast and furious 7!! looove the FF movies, r.i.p Paul Walker)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKAFK5djSk

 

Charlie Puth - Losing my mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhqCnoEYNIs

No-bed-time-story

I faced one of my worst nightmares this morning. Be prepared, it's a horror story time. -(@.@)-

I woke up and felt really thirsty so I went to get a glass of nice cold water. I drank it very quickly just with a few gulps and suddenly felt something ticklish on my face. It felt like a hair. I lowered the glass and instead of a hair I saw spider web. Spider web!! In my glass! Which I just used... And no spider. My eyes widened and almost as a reflex I just said 'holy crap'. That was it. After a while staring at the glass I couldn't help but thinking 'Did I just eat a spider? Please tell me I didn't eat a spider...' It brought pure horror into my veins. Now all I can think about is how at any minute that little eight-legged creature is gonna crawl back up inside my throat and end up into my mouth where I can feel it move before I realize what it actually is. And then it's probably gonna bite me and I turn into a Spiderman. Well wouldn't that just be interesting. I would have to make a suit for myself. With a spider logo on its back! And then there would be no other option than to play a hero. O what a miserable destiny I'll have. -(ë.ë)-

 

Nicky Jam - Hasta el Amanecer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkx-7fsiWgg

 

Walking in circles

I've had a really great time for two weeks now. I've been living at my sister's and my friends' apartments, freeloading to be precise. That's how I've been able to stay in Helsinki instead of going back to my parents' place, and I do prefer Helsinki. Here lives most of my friends who I've been able to meet now and other people too. So yes, I've liked being here and would just loooove to stay!

You know I've been thinking that if some man attacked me on a street what would I do. I am quite strong and know the basics of self-defence but it has been proved that I'm still not as strong as men... I've lost too many times in arm-wrestling. (ë.ë) And also would I even be able to keep my cool and fight back or would I just panic. Because if I panic then trying to think rationally becomes a lot more difficult. Luckily in my case there's always the fact that I'm quite fast so I could just try to run away. Well there are a few choices. ^.^' But we're lucky Finland is not so dangerous country. Going outside in the middle of the night is also quite ok, nothing has ever happened to me yet. And I've been out at that time of the night pretty many times. Alone or in a group. But ofc it doesn't hurt to be aware of the possibility what might happen.

I listened to Dust to dust by The civil wars and I thought the lyrics in this song are so beautiful that I just have to post them here.

"Dust To Dust"
 

It's not your eyes
It's not what you say
It's not your laughter
That gives you away
You're just lonely
You've been lonely too long

All your acting, your thin disguise
All your perfectly delivered lines
They don't fool me
You've been lonely too long

Let me in the walls
You've built around
We can light a match
And burn them down
Let me hold your hand
And dance 'round and 'round the flames
In front of us
Dust to dust

You've held your head up
You've fought the fight
You bear the scars
You've done your time
Listen to me
You've been lonely too long

Let me in the walls
You've built around
We can light a match
And burn them down
Let me hold your hand
And dance 'round and 'round the flames
In front of us
Dust to dust

You're like a mirror, reflecting me
Takes one to know one, so take it from me
You've been lonely
You've been lonely too long
We've been lonely
We've been lonely too long

 

This is how my arm-wrestling usually looks like.. Though I only use just one hand -(n.n)-

 

And then a few songs that I find very good, go check them out. ;)

 

The Civil Wars - Devil's backbone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTb6MoMLvcY

 

Foxes - Amazing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WdrdNMp9_Q

 

Pitbull ft. Robin Thicke, Joe Perry, Travis Barker - Bad man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpAGSi8fd88
 

Love-hate-relationship

Hey! I feel like at the same time I love and hate this world. I love it because it's so beautiful, so perfectly done and created with the smallest details like ladybugs. It never stops to surprise me with it's wonders and there will always be more and more gorgeous places I haven't yet visited, but definitely will! I'll go out there to see what it's like and feel the world with every sense I have. That's my plan. Because I love this world. But I also hate it... There's so much bad, sorrow, pain, hatred and disappointments that it makes me sad. Sometimes it all feels very overwhelming and especially because I think so much but on moments like these I try my best to breathe deep and think that sun will shine again tomorrow, this is just temporary.

Today is a very beautiful day, one of the best ones I guess. Sun's been shining whole morning and it's Tuesday. Tuesday is a nice day, it's not Monday that starts the week and on Tuesday you can still think that there's so much time left this week.

Now I'm gonna go for a very long walk outdoors and hopefully find a nice café or library at some point. And maybe I watch these Finnish people walking on streets and wonder how they never seem to smile, not even on a day like today. People should have more happiness in their lives so that they could say from their hearts that 'today is a wonderful day'.

 

My friend sent this to me and this is one of the best advises I've ever got. Thank you honey! (I know you'll be reading this... haha) (-^.^-)

Luke Howard - Portrait Gallery

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA2cbO5GhzI

 

Who are you?

Hi! I don't know have I wrote here anything like what I'm gonna write now, maybe I have but then I'll just do it again.

Who am I? Don't run away, I'm not gonna tell you a lot about myself. Instead of that I'll challenge you to think about what's that little sentence about. Because that's a really good question everyone should ask themselves. I've spent the last few years figuring that out and maybe finally, finally I think I might know the answer for it. Or a bit of it. ^.^' I'm really not gonna tell you what I've found out about myself but I'll tell you how much it's changed my life.

Four years ago, when I was still a kid (haha), I thought I knew who I was but in truth I had no idea of it. I had lived my life just to survive, waiting for something better to come next, and I let everyone around me have a way too big influence on my own character. And that's all just because I was so lost and weak. I didn't know what I wanted, for my life or in general. Well then every year after it till this very moment I've met tons of people who have told me the things I needed to hear: how precious I am, that even I matter in this world and even I can do anything I want to. Those people had so great effect on me that there was no chance I couldn't have changed. Bit by bit I realized that I can talk, laugh and be the silly me I am. I was allowed to be who I am. Those people taught me I am beautiful and I'm not just someone, I am me and being "me" is good. Maybe they didn't always say these things out loud and make me understand them at that moment but it all kind of got through to my stubborn head by the way they acted towards me. yes, again I let people have an effect on me but this time it was for good. And gosh it took time and the progress in me was so slow but all worth it. Seriously, I've been told so many and many bad things in my life and I've been the one who just doesn't fit in anywhere but I've been so blessed this whole time. I understood it when I realized who I am and what I live for, and especially because I learned to trust the One who's always there to watch after us. Now I know God has had everything under control all this time even I've been completely lost. And now there's really nothing that could have really bad effect on me. I grew up to be strong at my heart and at the same time to be weak. 'Cause now I can be weak if I can't always be strong. And there's nothing bad in being weak.

Now I've spent half a week at my friends' apartment and actually I was supposed to stay only one night but it kind of became a bit longer time. Oops, well it's just been fun. At least for me. (-n.n-) Yesterday we went to see a document about human trafficking and prostitution in Finland. It was really interesting 'cause I really had no idea it also happens here. In this country of so good education and welfare. It really woke me up. It's not just a problem of poorer countries, it's also our problem and there should be something done about it.

After that event we six girls went to my friends' place to have a great evening eating pancakes and having fun. It's maybe a bit weird to have so much fun after that event I mentioned but we still can't let things like that prevent us from having a good time. ^.^

Now have a great day everyone! Or night... (-ë.ë-)/

O, how do you know if someone's lying? Or how do you know if you can trust someone or not? 'Cause I don't know...

Ruth - Lost boy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsoUa1DuDW4