A lot of work

To start with everything I need to do now... And during the upcoming weeks 'til about 20th January. O' I'm so busy. Well for the next Wednesday I have to create a power point presentation about my three-months-trip in Australia. That should be about 20 minutes long... I'm actually glad it doesn't have to be longer than that. I just put together some pictures and maybe write something and then I just have to talk. Yea it's not so bad. But then I also have to figure out as soon as possible what I'm gonna do next spring. And that is difficult. I've sent a lot of emails to different places around the world where I could go and do some volunteer work or even something but for now no luck with that. Maybe I'm also just a bit too picky about the places I could go to. But then if I can't go overseas now and there're no studies I could start after New Year I just have try to get a job. Which is a battle I haven't won so many times, unfortunately. I hope there's something I could do next year because I c can't spend my time just being at home doing nothing... That drives me crazy. I'm not the kind of person who can just sit and watch TV all-day-long. Luckily I already know one or two study programs I'm gonna apply to next spring and for one of those I have to make a pre-task. It has to be ready 'til 27th January so I don't actually have a lot of time to make it but it's not so difficult task. I just have to draw one picture, write one short text, make another picture or sculpture or whatever and then make a portfolio. It's not that difficult, right? That's probably all I have to do now, or so I think.

Well then there's Christmas when I'm (hopefully) not gonna do anything related to work or school. And then there's New Year when I'll go to my friend's place in East-Finland. That'll be so much fun. Her home is so close to Russia that she can actually see the lights from the border gates (or whatever you call that... I'm not sure I even know the right Finnish word.. -^^'-). Well, I hope there's snow because we don't have snow here now and I doubt we'll have it 'til Christmas either, which really sucks. Here in South-Finland it's almost like we would have one season in a year and that's a long long autumn. With some colder and warmer days. I miss the Finland we had some years ago. When the weather wasn't this warm at this time of the year (T_T) and when we had really warm and sunny summers. That's what I like. I guess I have to move a bit norther.

You know, I would like to start some hobby again. I could try dancing or fencing this time. I love dancing, I'm not good at it (or so I think) because I've never practiced it but I would really love to learn. Maybe I could try either some Latin dance like salsa or then contemporary dance. I think those could suit me better than for example hip-hop or street dance. Maybe... And fencing would also be so interesting! I love martial arts and I've tried karate a bit and it was really fun but maybe this time I could try fencing. I still haven't found that one thing I would like to practise for a longer time.

But now I have to go make supper 'cause there are some people (= my older sister's bf and his little brother) coming here and my sister asked me to make something to eat. I thought about making some warm breads, snacks and then we have gingerbread men and maybe something else. Well, people won't eat so much at this time of the day anyway so there doesn't have to be so much food. -(ü.ü)-

 

I'm reading Dengeki Daisy again... ^.^ Just love that manga. (google)

 

One Ok Rock - The way back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2dFMNPA9jQ

 

One Ok Rock - Last Dance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j4vxu8dnp4

 

My Spotify is not working!!!!! I'm dying here (i_i,)

 

Home again

Sorry I've been incredibly busy for a while now so I haven't had time to write here. But to update my daily life, I left the warm Australia 19th November and came back to this cold, grey and rainy Finland which still happens to be my home... So now here I am and I'm still trying to get used to this coldness.

This week's gone pretty fast. I've been to Helsinki a few times and then me and my little sister made a gingerbread Viking-ship to her school. 'Cause they have this kind of a market sale there today. Then last Wednesday I got to know that I have to write (again) an essay that's ten pages long and make a 20 minutes long presentation about my Australia -trip... And all that has to be done before 17 December and I have other life too! I'll be so busy... O' and I should also figure out very soon what I'm gonna do after New Year.. Can I go overseas again, do I go study something for few months or do I try to get a job. That last one would really be just trying... It's very difficult to get a job. Or a job that would be a nice one. '(-_-)'

But it's nice that now I can see my friends. About every week I'm gonna go somewhere to meet someone or then someone's gonna come here, and that's so fun. -(*.*)/

 

YOUTH - Troye Sivan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io2Yjy3nV_c

 

Start again - Conrad Sewell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-OqF9qagNk

 



some things worth mentioning

I've finally realised a few career paths that are definitely not for me. Those are for example works where I have to 1. cook/bake, because even if I actually sometimes manage to make something good most of the time I just screw up. 2. take care of plants, I've even killed a cactus. 3. work hard outdoors, especially on summer that's horrible, there are a lot of bugs and it's so hot and I get all sweaty (yak) and I'm not physically strong enough for work like farming. 4. stare the computer whole day through, my eyes start to hurt at the end of the day. 5. be involved with sick people, if I see for example chickenpox I feel like vomiting, the same happens if I have to clean others' vomits etc. So yea, there are a few things I can't think of a career for me. I'm glad I've learned to know even that much! I would need a work that's very versatile, also because I get bored doing the same thing all the time.

 

The things you wish the most. (google)

You know, now being in Australia I've noticed the good things about Finland. I kind of knew that was gonna happen, or it usually happens to people when they go overseas for a longer time. They realise all the good things about their home country. But about Finland I really miss the winter right now. I'm actually more of a winter person, I love it. The cold weather that pinches your face when you go out, snow that makes this very funny squeaky sound under your feet, all the beautiful winter clothes and boots you can wear and of course when the air gets misty when you exhale. Winter is so beautiful time of the year. And this is something I already appreciated in Finland: sunshine. Here it's something these people can take for granted but it's definitely not the same in my country. Here it's sunny almost everyday and you're like 'oh okay, it's sunny again today' but in Finland you're like 'oooh! It's sunny! Let's go out.' I also love Finnish spring, or maybe I could just say I'm a fan of four different seasons in a year. All in all I've found Finland a very good country to live in, despite the long dark season on autumn... But here the biggest problem for me is the heat and humidity. And it's only starting to get warm! Maybe I'm just too Finnish to like sunbathing on the beach. Plus I like my white skin and I burn too easily. -(ü.ü)/ But there's at least two things I would really like to change about Finland. People should be more open and just talk to each others, even to the strangers. And also outside bars. And that shouldn't be considered weird. The other thing is the way men dress up... Because in Finland so many men really have no sense of even a bit stylish way to dress. No, no-one needs to look like a model but it would be so great if some men would see even the tiniest bit of effort to not look like a garbage bag (sorry my brutal way of saying this). Luckily there are also always exceptions, and especially when you go closer to the capital area. But yea, it's really none of my business to say what people should look like. That was just my opinion. ;) But in my defence, most guys want to see pretty girls/women and just so you know, we usually spend some amount of time in the morning to make ourselves look even decent. So I don't think it's too much to expect the same from men.

Anyway, everyone who hasn't been to Finland, please go there, even once in your life! Because that country is beautiful. Yes we don't have mountains like Norway has and we don't have a gorgeous ocean but there are many other things in Finland. You just need to look at things the right way. (that actually doesn't sound like a good salesman speech... -(^.^')- ) But I think that way you can find beauty where-ever you are.

 

Azumanga Daioh (google)

Hello by Adele      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A
Hey everybody! by 5 Seconds of Summer      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPGbvv4IhNU

When lost are found

First, thank you my dear friend Lotta for the subject for this post. Today I'm gonna write about introverts and how difficult it's sometimes to even talk to people.

Introverts are (as described in Wikipedia) "typically more reserved or reflective. -- An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though he or she may enjoy interactions with close friends. Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to introverts is choosing a worthy companion. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate." So in my own words introverts are usually shy, they tend to become wallflowers 'cause they are not so noticeable in groups and they have a high level of empathy towards other people. When being in a big group introverts, as an opposite of extroverts, like to observe the situation before talking and fully participating. There are many reasons for them to act that way but one is that first they want to know what kind of people they're with. Also by paying more attention to other people introverts tend to notice others' weaknesses, manners and feelings more easier than those who are talking all the time. As being quiet and shy at first is not a bad thing it also has some not so good sides to it too. Being in groups those who are most talkative get the biggest attention and the quiet ones might not get noticed at all. And because they are not always brave enough to start talking immediately when there's a few seconds long silent moment they never get their voice heard. They become invisible. And they might be left alone. That's always a hard thing for an introvert because she/he needs a lot of courage for even going to talk to other people. There are these thoughts that keep them from talking to others, "what if he/she doesn't want to talk to me", "what if I say something stupid", "I can't go to talk to him/her". And sometimes it's just that there's not enough courage in introverts for them to make the first move and go to talk to a stranger. Yes, talking is very difficult. You start to think 'what can I say', 'what if he/she thinks I'm an idiot' and all the other possible things.

I used to be an introvert so I know exactly what it is to be and feel like an introvert. It's not always fun and great and there are times when you feel the worst. But there are also many good things about being an introvert. I learned how to live on my own, how to kill time being alone and actually doing something meaningful and sometimes not so meaningful, I learned how to enjoy the little things in life such as not being in a hurry, silence and reading a good book on our backyard, I learned how great it was to have a few great friends. There are so many good things about being an introvert and things you can learn and know only if you are one. Being an introvert is part of some people's personality and they should be treated the same as all the others, because that's what they are. They might need more time to warm up to other people but when they get to know you or you get to know them you realise just how fun, amazing and normal people they are.

 

Kimi ni Todoke (google) The female protagonist is a good example of an introvert. And I really like that anime. ^.^ 

This is the Day - Phil Wickham       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmktpH--zjg

I'm a mess - Ed Sheeran       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yVwiSgyNVs

Make the moment yours

I've been super busy for over a week now, was kind of waiting for that to happen 'cause I'd had so much free time lately. I'm usually working for 4 days/week and did that last week also. Wednesdays I have free and last week for the first time I travelled on a train here! And I did well, didn't get lost or jump on a wrong train. ;) I went to the city to meet my friend Liisa from Finland. She and her friend have also been in Australia for about a month and finally they came to Sydney so we were able to meet. Though at first it was really difficult to find her from the Central Station 'cause I ran out of credit on my phone and had no idea how to top it up again. So I had no way to contact Liisa and that railway station is quite big. Neither of us knew where the other was and after walking around the station I went to look for a nearest mobile shop where I could top up my phone's credit. Fortunately just then, after about an hour, Liisa called me and we were able to find each others. Well that happens. -(^.^')- But it was really fun to see her, last time we met was on New Year's Eve something like two years ago... Long time no see, literally.

 

This street was very pretty. It had a lot of these very expensive stores... But we just sat there and ate two Japanese strawberry flavoured moon cakes I had bought. First those tasted a bit weird but afterwards I decided those were actually quite good. -(n.n)-

 

Then on Saturday I went bushwalking(!!!) with my friend and her husband and friends. We drove to Wattamalla (hope it was written like that..) and walked around there maybe 8km. I really liked being there, it wasn't too hot day and we were able to see nature and some animals too. First we saw Water dragon (it's a lizard, and it was quite big!) and then when we stopped to sit on this one cliff we saw three dolphins jumping in the water right below us. They were amazing! -(*.*)- I've never seen dolphins free in the ocean. Or actually anywhere else either. Just in pictures and TV.... But that was definitely the greatest moment of the whole trip we made. After coming back to the parking lot we walked down to the beach and I had my first swim in the ocean here! I love this water, it's so cool, clean and blue. So beautiful.

 

 

We crossed this river on our way. This was a very beautiful place and I would love to go back there some day.

 

This is where we saw those dolphins.

 

On Sunday I went to have a THREE COURSE MEAL in Fort Denison. My family friend's mum had her 80th birthday and her whole family went to Fort Denison and they also invited me. Who am I to say no to a free high-class lunch in an old fortress located on an island. Seriously, only a fool would say no to that. Well the weather was great, company was great and the food was great. No complaints, except that I ate too much.

 

 





 

This is from Cronulla beach. I went there to read a book called Wild at heart (it's really good book!) and I had some company because that one bird just kept staring at me maybe for an hour before it finally flew away. You might actually see that bird in the pic, it's sitting on the edge of the cliff.

 

One Ok Rock - Rock, Scissors, Paper

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzJD7E_ygdQ  (live version with eng subs)

 

"not with a fizzle but with a bang"

If you're a woman with short hair, have you ever felt less feminine than the women with long hair? And if you're a guy, do you think women with short hair are not so attractive and lack the feminine sense of beauty? Yes, this is gonna be the topic for this post.

I haven't been thinking about things like this for a long time but now after I came to Australia these topics about 'what's beautiful and what kind of woman is attractive' have sometimes come to my mind. I'm a woman with a short hair and in Finland I never had to hear anything negative about it, on the contrary I used to get very positive comments even from complete strangers about how my hair looks good on me. But now... Already twice I've heard things shouted at me like 'pretty boy' and so on. Really? It doesn't really bother me that some idiots tell me I look like a pretty boy but what makes me so angry is that those people think they can just say whatever they want to anyone. For now I'm keeping my cool very well and ignoring what they say is easy but what I really want to do is give those douchebags this very popular international hand mark and tell them to go there where the sun doesn't shine. But I won't do that. Instead of that I'm gonna 'give them hell' like Olive was told by her father in a movie Easy A (it's btw very good movie, I really like it).

So, if I look like a 'pretty boy' does that mean I don't really look like a woman, 'cause of my hair. Positive thing is that they even called me pretty boy, not just a boy or something else very imaginative. But to think that I'm not as feminine as those girls with long gorgeous hair is not so nice. I can tell you, it doesn't really boost up my self-belief or anyone else's who has heard things that criticize the way you look like. Especially for women it's usually very important to feel that 'I look good' (of course the same goes with men but now I'm talking about women) and to look good most women want to feel feminine. To think about what is normally associated with femininity, first things that come to my mind are dresses or other pretty clothes, makeup, delicate slim or curvy body, sensitivity and long hair. But what if you don't have or like some of those? What if you only like to wear jeans and a plain t-shirt? Or if your skin reacts to makeup and you are not able to use it. Or what if you have short hair and you like it. Are you then less feminine than those other women who fit in that "feminine box"?

 

Here are Anne Hathaway, Halle Berry and Emma Watson and they all have had short hair (or still have it). And in my opinion they all look amazing, so beautiful and they are just as feminine as they are with long hair. (google)

 

So please, when you're about to say something about others please think first is that something you would like to hear or are you just gonna sound like a bitch. Thank you.

 

Every woman wants to feel like a princess. (google)

 

Song for today:

Don't be so hard on yourself - Jess Glynne

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mjjoaKUUa4

 

Carry me today

It's funny how you can put so many feelings and thoughts in one week. There's been hate, sorrow, pain, joy, hope, fear, despair and so much more I can't put into words. So much has happened and I'm not sure how I should be at the moment.

 

I had a horrible flu for over a week about two to three weeks ago, I went to see a doctor and he gave me some pills to eat so I could get better quicker. Well it worked. But then week ago, last Thursday, just when I was already a bit better from the flu I woke up in the morning and got this most horrible and strong headache. I've never had a headache like that. It felt like someone wanted to split my head into two pieces. It was like that for two days and then I had to go back to see another doctor. Well this time they told me it was probably migraine. On Saturday 3.10 my headache was already a bit better but then 8.30pm my dad called me from Finland. It's that moment when you just know something's not right. It's that call you don't wanna get, ever. And especially when you're all alone without anyone you actually know. My grandpa died on Saturday 3.10.

 

I wonder how everyone's doing... They say they're quite okay. Some of them haven't understood what has happened. I'm so glad they have a lot of people there to be with them. It's really important. You can share your pain and sorrow with others, if you want to cry there'll be someone to comfort you. You don't have to be alone.

 

Then I think how am I doing. I promised myself to be strong, for others, for my family. Because there are people who are much more sensitive than me, because there are people who loved our grandpa as much as I did. And for them I want to be strong, when they need someone to talk to I can be there without losing it myself. I built this little white box and filled it with memories and hid it in my heart and I won't open it before there's time for that. I will keep myself together as long as I have to. They say that wounds heal, so will this one.

 

On Saturday evening after 9pm I went to the beach, the air was misty and smelled like fish. I walked down where the water hit the sand. The sea was black and beautiful, sand was wet and cold and the wind was warm. That was the closest I could get to my grandpa and then I said goodbye to him. There were a lot of people, it was a really warm night.

 

I just want to smile.

Have my memories.

And smile.

 

 

You'll always be in our hearts, we love you so much. R.I.P grandpa

 

Song for you - Jenny and Tyler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeOh7dZOQGw

 

Hope is what we crave - for KING & COUNTRY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bwdA-k8Olg

 

Starry night - Chris August

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfBjUauVenc